I remember seeing Tobi at my nephew’s birthday party. She came over to borrow a lighter. Just a quick exchange nothing big. But I noticed her. There was something different about her energy. She didn’t say much, but there was this calm presence around her. I clocked it. But I didn’t act on it. Not yet.

The second time, it was a few months later. We were setting up for my brother’s party. She was hanging up some decorations, and I being me told her one of the banners wasn’t straight. I knew it was fine. I just liked the view of her trying to straighten it. She gave me a little side-eye, a little sass, and I loved it. That was the first real spark, and I thought ‘Okay maybe she’s feeling me too’.

What got me, though, was a moment she walked past a mirror, and I caught her reflection. I was watching her, but it wasn’t lust it was something else. I just felt drawn to her. Like, that woman is going to matter to me. It’s hard to explain. I just knew.

From that moment, I made sure to keep the conversation going. I got her number. I stayed consistent.

Our first date was perfect not because of what we did, but because of how she made me feel. She was terrible at pool, but it didn’t matter. She laughed at herself. She let me teach her and I got to get up close to her and create that intimacy as I showed her how to use the cues. She didn’t try to impress me. She was just herself. At the end of the night when I dropped her to her car, we sat talking for hours, the conversation just flowed. Finally, it was time to go, and she wasn’t giving me any signs that a kiss was on the agenda. She got into her car, and I thought I’ve got to leave her with something to remember me by, so I leaned in through her car window and I kissed her. I could tell she liked the kiss, I knew I would be seeing her again, I left her wanting more.

There was no single moment when I realised, she was the one. It was a build-up the way she spoke life into me, the way she made me feel seen. Tobi is the kind of woman who pays attention. She knows how to take care of her king, and make sure all my needs are met. She doesn’t just listen she hears you. She remembers the things that matter. She calls you out when you’re off, but she does it with love. She pushes me to grow, not because I’m not enough but because she sees how much more I can be. I would say though that it was two years in when I started to see that this is definitely my wife. It was how we resolved arguments and got better at communicating and understanding each other, because we both wanted to find a way to resolve it and move forward.

Tobi has taught me how to open up. I wasn’t always the best at talking through my feelings, but she created space for me to be honest and patient enough to wait for the words to come. I’ve taught her how to ease up sometimes, to enjoy the moment without needing to plan everything. And I taught her how to cook proper Jamaican food no packet seasoning, no shortcuts. She’s getting there. Her oxtail stew is serious now.

Life doesn’t always give you the soft path, but even in the mess, we never lost sight of each other. She made us make a promise to never go to bed angry, and to always kiss each other good night no matter what. I thought it was kinda weird at first but now I appreciate it. We haven’t always got it right; but we always came back to the table. We keep choosing each other that’s the difference. Getting used to the Nigerian culture has been a challenge for me, because Jamaicans take things a lot more easily, but at the end of the day I’m going to do what it takes to make my Queen happy.

The day I proposed, I knew I wanted it to feel intentional. I wanted her to feel chosen deeply, deliberately, with no hesitation. Seeing her reaction… I’ll never forget that moment. I could feel her heart in her eyes. It rained during the proposal but that just added to the magic of it, it felt so like us, not perfect but beautiful still.

If I could relive one day? Tough. There’s been a few, the proposal being one, but one that stands out is when we went to Jamaica and we went to mystic falls, and we had the best time. It’s always vibes with my queen.

Our future? The vibes gonna be the same, more energy, bringing kids into the world, and letting them grow to be productive members of society. Getting our land together and grow our own fruit and veg in the country. Off grid lifestyle for us, surrounded by friends and family. I see us dancing in our sixties, laughing in our seventies, holding hands in our eighties. That’s the kind of love we’re building. It’s going to be good.

I met Andre at a birthday party well, “met” might be a stretch. I was sent to borrow a lighter from him for my friend to light the birthday candles. That was the first exchange. Just me asking for a lighter, him handing it over. No spark, no dramatic music playing in the background. At least not yet. I didn’t think much of it. But now looking back I see that was the universe dropping its first hint.

The second time, though, something shifted. We were setting up for his brothers party (my friends brother in law) this time, our roles overlapped a little more. I was putting up decorations with him, when he said something cheeky. I remember thinking ‘Wait is he flirting with me?’

And then there was the mirror.

That same evening, I walked past a mirror to check out my outfit and caught a glimpse of him watching me. It was such a quiet moment no words, just a reflection but something about the way he looked at me caught me off guard and made me feel shy. It wasn’t the kind of look that said “I want you.” It was the kind that said, I see you. I remember thinking ‘oh wow there’s something here with this guy’. That moment replayed in my mind days after. The rest of that evening we just kept gravitating to each other, and by the end of the night we were sitting cosy on the sofa deep in conversation. And yes, I gave him my number.

I won’t lie, I was hesitant. I’d never dated a Jamaican man before, and I had all these assumptions ideas of what that might mean, what it might bring. But Andre wasn’t what I expected. He didn’t come with bravado or game. He was soft in the places I didn’t expect a man to be emotionally intelligent, self-aware, attentive. And his sense of humour? It disarmed me every time. I remember our first few conversations and what struck me was how honest he was about everything. I had never met a man who was so real and honest, and it was refreshing. Usually with guys they find out what you want and adapt themselves to 'pretend' they are that person, and then as time goes on you find out who they really are, but with Dre it was different he was like this is me take me or leave me. I knew that this could be something very special. He just felt different.

He made the first move clear and intentional. Our first date was at a pool hall because I told him I don’t like restaurants dates, I prefer activities. So, he arranged for us to go play pool, I was terrible at it. But maybe that was the point. There was no pressure. We laughed, we flirted, and when we got back to his car we just sat and talked for hours. By the end of the night, he kissed me through the car window. And I don't really do mushy but I swear I floated all the way home.

I didn’t fall in love with him in one moment it was a series of moments, layered over time. He made me a mixtape, who even does that anymore? He made me feel like I was worth the effort. Then there was the way he cared for me when I had a sickle cell crisis. He showed up. No questions, no complaints. He was just there buying me food, checking in, holding space. That’s when I knew: this isn’t someone who just wants to be around for the good times. This man knows how to love in the hard seasons, too. It was always important to me to be with a man that was caring and would take care of me when I got my crisis, and Andre showed up and beyond. But if I had to choose the main thing that made me fall hard for Dre, it's that he accepted me whole heartedly for who I was unapologetically. I had never been with someone who took me as I was good and bad and just accepted me for me, and that’s how I knew he was my person.

One of the things I love most about Andre is his patience. I have never met a man that has as much patience as Andre. I know my pros and I know my cons, and I know my cons can be a lot, but he never makes me feel bad, and always waits for me to be calm, whilst being firm about what he wants. He gives me the grace to make mistakes, he makes space for me emotionally, physically, spiritually. I’ve taught him how to open up more, to speak about how he feels even when it’s hard. And in return, he’s taught me how to soften, how to let someone love me without needing to be in control all the time. Oh, and how to make curry goat and oxtail — Jamaican-style, no shortcuts. He’s very serious about that.

I think one of the challenges for us that we have had to overcome is the difference in our cultures and helping Andre to understand the expectations and requirements of the Yoruba culture (which I know can be a lot). It was hard for him to understand because his culture is so different, and so we both had to take the time understand and learn each others cultures, and the expectations from family members.

If I could relive any day, it might be his 40th birthday. We were away together, just the two of us and it was the first time we had ever gone away together. One evening we were in the kitchen, just chilling listening to music and then a song came on and we ended up slow dancing in the kitchen. It was a Jah Cure song-(it will definitely be our first dance at the wedding), and we danced for the whole song, it felt like a movie moment, like we were in our very own love story. We weren’t performing for anyone. It was soft. It was sacred. That moment reminded me that love doesn’t have to be loud to be felt deeply.

When I think of our future, I think off grid life, so much laughter. I’m so excited about it. Lots of adventure. It’s just about making up our own rules. He always thinks outside the box and thinks creatively. I bring the structure to his creativity. Bouncing off each other. Lots of adventure, excited for starting our own family, excited for the kind of parents we are going to be. Doing things our own way and making our own rules.

Bring on May 2026, I can't wait for the rest of our lives together to start ❤️